Well, It seems that I can't have anything good. Weather It takes itself from me or I cause it to leave me. Nothing good ever stays.


I've lost my heart, a best friend, and a lover.

She ended up just like the one before. Seeing only hate, and never seeing love. Always wanting a chance but never giving one. I can understand though. I mean I've never been given a second chance, why should she be the first, right?

People try to comfort me telling me "Its better to have loved and lost then to have never loved before."
To them I say "Obviously you have never been in love."

I had scars before I met her. But now I've got a huge open gaping wound. Bleeding passion, emotion, energyand most of all love. Too large to heal.

I force myself through my days, scraping by. Finding the only solstice and safty at the bottom of a bottle. Melitonin. Puts me in a dreamless sleep. For the few hours I'm alseep, I think I'm happy again. Then I wake, and BOOM first thought is of her. And then I'm pushing through the day. Looking forward to that little bottle and my dark happiness.

I hope she knows, that I'm sorry. That I don't think I can stop loving her. No matter what I said or did to end us, I wanted to fix it, I want to fix it. Not pick up from where we left off but, start over.